Sleeping like a baby...YEAH RIGHT!

I have no clue who came up with or coined the phrase "sleep like a baby" but I would really and truly like to either HULK SMASH or drop kick him or her in the head because if you have ever really watched a sleeping baby for a long period of time it is ANYTHING but peaceful! This idiom was truly created by an idio-(t). Whoever came up with that sentiment most definitely did not have children with sleep issues, if he or she had children at all. (which I suspect not). 

Me; however, I feel like I have done everything to try to help my little guy get the sleep WE all deserve. I've read books, consulted mothers, purchased upteen products "guaranteed to help your baby sleep" (please), tried different techniques and methods (thank you but no thank you FERBER, BABY WISE, and whoever else wanted to throw their two cents in) to get my little one to sleep all night, but I have had no success. So if any of you out there have a better idea or some kind of help, I am LISTENING!!!!

Don't I look like I am ready for sleep? Heck no...let's party...in my crib!

My son is now 8 months old and only slept through the night 2-3 times! 

And one wonders why when someone asks me when I'm having another one they are greeted with a long line of expletives before a solid and resounding NO! Never, nada, no way, no how, when pigs fly, etc etc. Ask me again when I don't have bags under my eyes from lack of sleep. But the answer would still be a bleep NO! 

No this is not his crib-he doesn't have toys in his sleep space.

Not that I don't love my son, but the physical exhaustion that comes with a baby who doesn't sleep is well, exhausting. I couldn't imagine trying to deal with another non-sleeper. 

. Plus, I am a belly sleeper. It might be okay with mommy if I didn't insist on sleeping not with my head to the side like in the picture but absolutely face down, flat against the crib mattress. If the fact that I didn't sleep good before, the fact that my mommy comes in to check on me many times a night probably wakes me up more than my regular wake up cycle.