Memorial Day From a Soldier's Wife's Perspective

I am a Soldier's wife. I have heard stories that have made the hairs on my arms stand on and UP on end. I know that when my husband dies, I will hear a 21 gun salute. I will receive a folded up flag. I also know that I will bury him with his bronze star and his purple heart because of the acts that my husband committed while in a place that Christians would attribute to HELL. 

Jeffrey is a hero. Jeffrey is my husband. Jeffrey is a SOLDIER.

My husband is first and foremost a soldier. Being a solider will remain with him until the day that he dies. It is like it is embedded into his DNA. It is like a breath of air. Every breath he takes, is one of appreciation. Appreciation that he made it home to start his family. Appreciation that he is allowed to live his life. Not that the life isn't complicated with the past, as I learned on the night that I met him (which is another story).

So, today I asked him if he could describe Memorial Day. Here is what he had to say: 

"On the eighth day, God made a soldier"

"It is really a day to reflect on all my fallen comrades. Friends, Brothers. A day to reflect on our veterans who are missing in action or who gave their lives for our freedoms that most people take for granted. A day to remember what our country really is made of. Men and women who are not afraid to sacrifice themselves to protect others. For me, it is a day for me to reflect on what I have done. Beyond the losses, the sacrifices, the time away from our families, there are true bonds that form. It is really a brotherhood. You have to trust the person beside you, behind you, in front of you. And sometimes, you lose that person. Sometimes a mine goes off unexpectedly. Sometimes, an IED blows up in your face. Sometimes, a Humvee gets hit with a RPG. Unfortunately, the only ones left to deal with whatever happens is the brotherhood/sisterhood. We are the ones there. We see it first hand, and we live it. 

Some people look at war with rose colored glasses. They see only what they want to see, no matter what side they are on. It doesn't matter, and it will never matter because in a person eyes, (especially those who have never been in war), in their eyes, they are the ones that are right and the others are wrong. Period. It isn't always that crystal clear. There is no crystal ball predicting the future, and if there were, I would maybe have made slightly different decisions regarding my leadership. 

Unfortunately there are gray areas that frequently peek around the corner. The black and white areas that people love to imagine exists really do not in the war zone. Would one really care if the RPG being pointed at them (or worse one of their family members) was held by a child? Would it make any difference if that person was an adult? As a soldier, I will tell you, you can handle a RPG pointed at you, you can accept the fact that you are going to die. 

You can accept the fact that you will never see your wife's beautiful smile again or ever hear your children's laughter again. The part that is the most difficult is seeing your brother/sister being in the line of fire. And for that, you will lay down your life. 

You will throw everything to the sidelines, and it won't matter if you are a father who needs to come home for your son, and it won't matter if you need to come home your husband or wife, and it wouldn't matter if you came home because you were hurt. In the end, it doesn't matter how you come home, as long as you come home.

I am a lot of things. I am a father. I am a husband. I am a provider. I am a manager. I am a soldier. But most importantly... I am... your FREEDOM!"