Tragedy that hit too close for this Teacher

I found this picture on a google search and felt it was appropriate for today.

I sit here with a lump in my throat and a knot in my stomach. I feel sickened and disgusted at the horror that unfolded today in Connecticut. As I look at my precious babe in his daddy's arms, my heart swells and breaks at the same time. It is incomprehensible to me that someone could walk into a school and kill little, innocent children. Babies. Someone's son or daughter. Out there tonight, there are families whose child did not get off the bus this evening.  Children who did not come home from school. Parents who will not get to read their children bedtime stories, or tuck them in tonight, or ask them about their day at school. It breaks my heart that these little children were taken before their life ever really began. 

This unspeakable horror makes me nervous for my little boy. When did things go so wrong in this world? It was like 13 years ago that Columbine started the whole school shootings. However, since then there have been many school shootings, ranging all the way to college. Recently, there have been shootings in malls in the food court, and even in a movie theater. Is there no where that is safe anymore? It makes me want to put my son in a little bubble and keep him there forever. It makes me want to curl up on my couch, lock and dead bolt (a bunch of times) all my doors and order all my needs from places like Amazon. I am very convinced that I could get everything I ever needed without ever having to leave this house. Things like the shootings that have happened in the recent years have made me really think about creating an emergency station in my home-filled with things that we would need when this world goes bad. It just seems to me that the world keeps getting crueler and more horrific things are happening. Not just in terms of people killing others but other things like missiles being launched, earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes and all the other things that seemed to have ticked off mother nature. Just the other day I began preparing a list for 72 hour emergency packs, and today I am reminded of reasons that I want to begin those: pronto. 

I pray for the families of this unspeakable tragedy. I pray for guidance as this situation really hits home for me as a teacher who already didn't want to go back to work. As a teacher, I know how hurt this school must be. I know how it is to lose a student ( a couple of years ago I had a student leave my class only to collapse in his next class-gym), and as terrible as that was, it was only one student. I am not saying that because it was one child it was not important, all I am saying is that I can't imagine the pain that  I felt for the one child multiplied by 20 children. I cannot imagine a whole classroom of students. I cannot imagine it being students so terribly young. 

As a mother now, I have a whole other level of hurt. I have always heard things like "you will never know til you have one." As much as I rolled my eyes, and said yeah right, they were right. Korbin Bru brings a new perspective to this situation, one that I have never had before. Before him, I don't think that I could even imagine the hurt and devastation these families must be feeling. But now, as I look at him sleeping peacefully in his little bed, my heart hurts. I am not a crier by nature, as life has made me be tough, but today is a day for tears. 

I hope God puts his hands on this small community and helps to heal them in this tragic time. I pray for peace. I pray for this world. I pray that things like today will stop.