A Teacher's Reflections

My whole life has always been about teaching. My mother was a teacher, and I guess it was bred into me. Growing up, my favorite thing to do, besides playing with Barbies or dolls, was to play school. Of course, I was always the teacher. My mother even saved an old wooden and metal desk from her first grade class for me, which is placed in my little Korbin Bru's room. Hopefully, it will inspire him to be scholarly as well.

Friday, I watched in horror as the news reported on the deaths of educators and the students in their school. At my school, the statement is always it is not if it happens, it is when. That used to be a thing that I might even roll my eyes at, and think oh nothing like that will ever happen in our little community. But, in the light of these tragic events and previous ones such as the incidents in the mall and theater, I have begun to reflect on being a teacher.

The educators at that school are no doubt heros. Some gave their lives, while others were spared. But through it all, they were doing what they were called to do-save the children. You see, I think being an educator is something that is born in us, not made or created. It is in our personalities, our needs, our desires, and it is present in our DNA. It is the need to give of ourselves. A teacher just doesn't put in their hours every day at school. They put their hearts, their souls, and ultimately their lives into their job. When our children suffer, we suffer along with them. When our children are hungry, we would gladly give them our lunch. When our children are cold, we make sure they have warm coats. We not only provide them with knowledge; we are secondary mommy and daddys. We love our students, and most of the time, they love us (unless you teach middle school like I do where all adults are ignorant most of the time-lol).

As a teacher, my heart breaks for the teachers left to pick up the pieces of the school. As a mother, my heart breaks for those other mothers that will never hold their little child again. So, I am torn. I am both a teacher and a mother. For years, many, many years, I was content to be just a teacher. It seems now that I am content to be just a mother. I am not sure in the light of all these occurrences that I can convincing do both. At the end of my life, I want to look back and be able to say that I "used" my time wisely. I do not want to look back and realize that I did not spend enough time with my son. I do not want to miss milestones. I don't want to miss any moments. It is becoming evident to me that my life's work is being a teacher, but maybe just maybe, my teachings need to be to my son.