New Years Eve

Today is New Years Eve. I had a great 30th birthday with my best friend and husband at one of my favorite restaurants, Soccer Taco. I am excited about tonight. My friend is having a a New Years Eve party. So in a little while I will be trying to piece together an outfit for tonight. I really liked the result of last nights outfit inspired by Pinterest. My chalkboard is in the drying process and I am so excited about having it up tomorrow. I need to get colored chalk! I want to make a cutesy sign for New Years. I am still in the 2ww. It is almost as nerve wracking as waiting for a OPK to turn positive. I am hoping that when it is time in a week that there will be no AF. I seem to have some symptoms.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow...I turn the big 3-0. (dirty thirty). I am a little upset, but at the same time, I am kind of excited to. It's like I am closing one chapter in my life and beginning another. I get a fresh start. I am hoping that in my 30ths is when I will discover that I am pregnant with baby Boak, preferably sooner, than later. It is actually funny, some people cry at the thought of adding a decade to their age, but here I am with arms wide open...waiting. I think that it has more to do with the people that I surround myself with than anything. I have a wonderful husband, friends who love me, and a family who stand behind me no matter what. I feel that my life is changing, and in a very good way. It is almost ironic because I have been the type of person to fight change at every turn, beat it back with a bat, turn and run in the opposite direction, and hide until it passes over me. However, here lately, it has been different. I not only want the change, I need it, I welcome it. Things are changing in my life, and it is a wonderful feeling. IT is just the waiting for the next 2 weeks might drive me nuts...lol. Happy Birthday to me!

Exhaustion

Boy,  I wish we were back in Jamaica!

Today, I am so tired but so revived. Yesterday, we had a positive O result and we took full advantage of it. I think Jeff might be more tired than I am. So, we are praying, crossing fingers, hoping, and anything else we can do. We would rub on Buddha if we had one! I have been hard at work today "decluttering". We have been looking for a home for a little over  3-4 months now as we would like to get closer to my job and also have a home with a basement. We would both prefer to have a one level home with a basement but at this point are very willing. We have a couple houses we have our eye on and our realtor plans on taking us to view them close after the new year. So we have a couple of things to hope for. In the mean time, I am trying to get our home ready to sell. HGTV and DIY network have been on nonstop for the past few days. I have almost completely my chalkboard that was inspired by PINTEREST and I just love it so much, I am already planning another one. In my attempt to make my chalkboard, I wanted to practice with the paint I was using for the frame and ended up with a cool and unique antiqued looking dry erase board. I love it so much that I have decided to make a few for gifts for some people we have not been able to see over the holiday season.

A Happy, Nervous Girl

So after another little break down yesterday, (I spent the day watching HGTV and DIY people look for and do things to their homes and it seemed like every single one was pregnant or just had a baby), I was in a terrible shape. I was frustrated, mad, sad, and depressed all rolled into one. I was starting to think that those little ovulation tests really didn't work since I had already exceeded my 14 days. Then, this morning I get up and take the test. I wait the 3 minutes like it says and look down. I see two lines. I am doing this in our bathroom and my husband is still asleep. I shut the door and turn on all the lights so that I can really "see". Sure enough two lines. I would have taken another right then and there but I was out. I started doing some weird kind of dance with my little pee stick in hand. Then, I flung open the door and ran into our bedroom jumped on the bed and proceeded to wake up my husband shoving the stick in his face OOOPPS. Unfortunately he had to go to work, but he bought more tests. I plan on running him ragged for the next 48 hours. I want this so bad for us.

Christmas Day

My husband and I had a wonderful Christmas Eve with my family and a great Christmas day at home. Jeffrey spent the day installing his new running boards (aka the huge package I drug in the other day and hid in the closet). He had no clue. I waited to the very last gift had been opened and looked at his gifts and said, "I can't find one" pawing over his gifts. He walked out of the living room and then I drug it "quickly" lol out of the closet and into the middle of the living room floor. I was on the couch waiting to take a picture when he came in. It took a minute for him to "see" the box among the wreckage of the other Christmas gifts, but when he did boy was he surprised. He got me my new black beloved Uggs that I had been asking for since last year. He is such a little meany...he kept telling me over and over that he couldn't find them in my size. We have had a great Christmas. I really enjoy hearing him tell me that next Christmas will be even better with Baby Boak around. We are still so hopeful that it is going to "show" soon.

Time to Play: With the Kiddos

Tonight we have had Jeff's sister's children so she could go out and celebrate her 30th birthday. (Mine is looming in the very near future). I am still waiting to see that positive sign...then my husband better watch out...lol. Today, I spent finishing wrapping gifts, dragging in a very, very, very heavy package delivered by Fed X and hiding it in a closet. (You should have seen my 114 pound frame dragging a box twice as tall as me and half as heavy into the house...but I was determined because I didn't want my hubby to see his big Christmas gift). The kids came over about 5 ish...and I have been baking it seems ever since. The only time I really took a break was to watch Cars 2 with everyone, which I have to say was too cute. I am looking forward to going to see my parent's tomorrow night and doing Christmas with them. The only thing that I am kind of sad about is the fact that I always wanted to be able to tell my mom and dad that I was pregnant with by using a gift...I am hoping that I can still do that (my dad's birthday is in January). I am still staring longingly at my unfinished chalkboard hoping that my hubby will stop by Lowe's soon to pick up the remaining needed items for finishing. I already have plans to make another if this one turns out good.

My sweet hubby loves me!

Starting Christmas Break

Yesterday was the last day of work for 2 whole weeks. I love being a teacher! My hubby went to the doctor and they said that everything was fine. (He called himself fertile mrytle). I keep taking the ovulation tests but still no two pink lines. That is not keeping us from practicing though (lol). We are trying to get ready for Christmas and my 30th birthday which is looming so close at this point. I can't believe that I will be 30. I have had so many great and wonderful experiences in my short 30 years, and some that have been not so great. I have been married 3 times, divorced twice, survived a jetski explosion, a car wreck, 5 college degrees, 2 houses, and currently looking for the 3rd, a best friend that I can tell anything to and am lucky enough that I work with her, and a great mom and dad. I feel lucky to have all the experiences and all the memories that I have, even those bad ones because that is what makes me who I am. I am happy with who I am and have become. I look forward to starting this journey with my wonderful husband and cannot wait til we see two pink lines!

Still no joy

After another negative ovulation test, I am feeling like maybe I don't and there is something wrong with me. I feel a little better than I did yesterday as I have an amazing husband who sits down to see how I am feeling and talk it out with me. As we go through this process, I realize how much I love him as he is truly my best friend. He is the person that I can't wait to tell happy things, or sad things, or frustrating things. For the first time in my life, I know why people say that the third time is a charm.

Tough Day

So, I took an ovulation test this morning, just like yesterday. It is still negative. Jeffrey has yet another appointment at the "spouge" doctor on Wednesday.
I guess I am beginning to wonder if I have somehow jinxed myself. I have always said that I didn't want children, forced it with a passion (when I knew deep down in my heart I really did). I am starting to think that I might be like my mom (I am adopted) and I know that if it comes to that, then I won't do it. I will not adopt.

Trying to Conceive

Just got back from a cruise trip with my husband and best friend and her husband. We have been trying to get pregnant since July. So when I started while on the cruise, needless to say I was so upset. My husband was so supportive. I feel lucky to have a man like him in my life.