Motherhood: A Balancing Act~ A series

Standing, no hopping on 1 foot because my Yorkie is running around my feet, with a 20+ pound chunkers on my right arm, bottle in my right hand, baby spoon sticking out of my mouth sideways like one of those cavemen that have the bone sticking out of their nose, with my dinner in my left hand and baby's dinner in the crook of my arm, trying to juggle the ringing phone, the Facebook messages, the incessant @&$ beep of the I-pad telling me I have a new message or email, a husband asking me where something is that is completely out in the open in the refrigerator, but he still can't see it or find it and trying to choke out an answer to him over the spoon in my mouth, all while balancing a little colorful ball on my nose (just kidding about the ball-but that is how I feel sometimes). I feel like the little circus seal who does all these little tricks just to earn a fish-but I don't like fish. 

It is a wonder I don't drop things. 

Wait a minute! Sometimes, I do. I DROP THE BALL! I drop the effin ball!

I drop the food, the phone, the messages, the emails, time to blog and record my life and history, BUT NEVER, EVER, EVER do I drop the baby! 

But I do let him monkey climb into his Baby Einstein....ehhhh

Life for me has become a balancing act. A tight rope walk over a flood and fire, and everything else in between. Heck, motherhood has become a balancing act, a whole new host of responsibilities that now I have to juggle with two hands, two feet and one mouth. 

It has become all about making priorities, (and breaking them) all in the name of a little chubby boy that calls me momma or ma-ma-ma. And honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way.

At first, the thought of not being able to do everything, not complete my daily, weekly, yearly check list seemed to splinter my mind as I could not fathom how I would be able to let things go. I didn't know how I would let things fester on the back-burner  I didn't know how I would simply let things pile up-the laundry, the dishes, the umpteen thousand emails and missed phone calls, but I did. And I would again. 

All in the name of a little boy named Korbin Bru. Do I regret it? Heck no! I would do it all again, exactly the same way, as long as my little man is happy and healthy.

The moments with him are fleeting at best. Everyday he learns something new. He grows. He surprises me with his understanding of what I say or sign everyday. He shows he understands emotions when he hits and I act like I am crying, and  hugs me to show he is sorry. But I am wise enough to know that the time like this is fleeting. It is not constant. It is like the wind and the rain-unpredictable to a point. 

Soon, he will not want me to rock him or hold him or feed him. He will want to do it all by himself because he is that independent type. know he will be squirming to get out of my lap and go explore on his own. In truth, sometimes, even at 13 months, he does it now. He won't want to give away his kisses so freely as he does now(or more exactly, used to do), or want to get in my lap to play, or have me to read to him. (although I have to say that the wanting to get in my lap to hear a story has drastically increased--as long as he brings me the book---usually an Elmo rhyming book). 

I know in a few months that he will not need me like he does now. He will want to do it. Mr. Independent. He will want to search and explore his own world, and discover it with his own eyes, hands, and feet. He will run freely when I open his playroom gate with the exclamation "Free the prisoners" because his Bella dog is with him too. This causes an absolute run to the adult retreat because it is sooooo cool in a babies eyes that he can't have all the cool toys and buttons to push in his room. 

But in the end, at the end of the day, Mommy will be there (all the time), watching with her watchful, hawk like eyes and proud heart. 

I always  never thought I would be a stay at home mom, until my heart began living outside my body on that September day. 

But then, just for a moment (5 months) I thought I could do this. 

I thought that I could be a stay at home mommy. 

But alas, the teaching profession beckoned me back again. It calls out to me like a ghost in the night...and I (kicking and screaming) rejoin the workforce.

And I kicking and screaming...rejoin the living.
And I kicking and screaming...rejoin motherhood...c

Barefoot in the Kitchen: Cream Cheese Danish

My husband loves all things sweet. I have watched him pound down four jelly doughnuts in the time that it would take me to eat a half of one-no joke. That man is a Hoover, and sometimes I have to ask him if he even tasted his food because he inhales it. I definitely cannot keep up-and really don't think that I would want too!  I guess that is the military man in him.

So one morning, I decided to whip up an alternative to his jelly doughnut- one that might be slightly healthier for him- but honestly not much. At least it isn't FRIED!

Cream Cheese Danish

2 tubes reduced fat crescent rolls

Filling
2 8 oz bars of fat free cream cheese
1/4 c egg beaters or one whole egg
1 c of Splenda
1 tbsp vanilla extract
1 t almond extract
Optional 1 cup fresh fruit or pie filling or preserves
 * I personally pick fresh fruit but if I don't have any then sugar free preserves is always my next go to.

Topping
1 egg white whisked

Icing
1/2 powdered sugar
2 tbsp skim milk
1 t vanilla but let's be honest I always use a little more

In a 13 x 9 greased pan, put in 1 can of the crescent rolls and pat it out, sealing the perforated pieces.

Barefoot in the Kitchen: Pizza

In my house, pizza is a must, but I hate the grease pooled extra large, extra cheese heart attack in the box that you can have delivered in 30 minutes or less. Now, I am not knocking it because yes I have and still do get a pizza on occasion, but if I have a choice then I choose to make my own. Unless I am out of time or in a hurry, then I hit speed dial. 

Pizza Ingredients 

• Pizza dough-whatever or however you want to make it
• Pizza sauce-homemade or choose a Chef Boyardee
• Minced garlic and butter melted (1/2 tbsp) together
• Seasonings: Italian, basil, oregano, crushed red pepper-optional (1 t each)
• Veggies:
• peppers-red, yellow, green (whatever I have on hand)
• Spinach (on my part)
• Red onion
• Mushrooms
• Black olives
• Banana peppers
• Turkey pepperoni
• Italian sausage (on his part)
• Fat free or part skim mozzarella cheese (freshly grated is optional)
• Parmesan cheese (freshly grated)

Prepare your pizza dough. Spread it out on a pizza stone. Brush the garlic butter mixture on the pizza dough. Spread on your pizza sauce. Sprinkle the seasonings all over the pizza. Add your vegetables and then meat. Top with your cheese and bake 425 for 25-30 minutes.

Baby's First Birthday: Inspiration

A baby's first birthday is a momentous occasion...at least for the parents. For my baby, as many others, it will be the first time he or she gets to rip into a cake. We are talking sugar overload here. Like cake on the walls, in the hair, down deep in the diaper, and the many folds of their chubby (read cute) legs.

If any of you are like me, you actually dread this moment because you know how much energy your little one has before you inject major doses of sugar into their little bodies. This fact alone makes me only want to serve him a cupcake and pray that he does the finger poke and that is all, but then again, I don't want to rob him from that right of passage. 

But me being the person I am, I want an unforgettable party-even if he will not remember it. (Except for the hundreds of photographs that the photographer I hired will take). 

I wanted to come up with an idea that hasn't been done to death or all together too clique or weird. So, after searching through many google searches, Pinterest searches, Amazon searches, and image searches for first birthdays, I came up with a Prince party. There have been so many princess parties-I am talking out the ying yang massive amounts of girly princess parties. Well, I think of my little boy as my knight in shining armor so why shouldn't I give him a little prince party. I found a few parties but only one that was the gold theme, royally sweet, and one more of a knight party. Of course there are all kinds of blue party stuff and even baby shower prince ideas, but just not exactly what I was looking for. So, I began with the lace crowns, a few empty bottles of Starbucks Frappuccino (hey how else could I get my energy), and loads of gold spray paint. 

When I started thinking of color, I got a little jumbled. I am a nice neutral Girl and started out with just wanting to use white, like in his nursery. However, while in his nursery one day I spied the little golden crown that I purchased from Hobby Lobby for like 2 bucks on clearance. Then, I knew my colors would be gold and silver and that the crowns would be my "crowning glory" so to speak (ignore my awful pun). 

So, that was that. I would have a gold and silver prince party featuring crowns for my son's first birthday party. 

Then, to the hard part, the food. This was really very simple as I decided that I wanted the theme to be "Royally Sweet" early one and do like tea party type foods. 

Check out My Pinterest Board filled to the brim with ideas about this wonderful event. 

Some of my favorites were the Homestyle Mac and Cheese Minis, the First Birthday Chalkboard (it is a must for those chalkboard lovers like me), the Milk Bottles, glitter dipped mason jars (love the black one, it is one my to do list), and the lace crowns.They all made an appearance at my little man's birthday party, with some of my own little twirks and twists. 

I love this keep sake. For the party I mounted it on a black dollar tree board. It was a little more expensive than everyone says to get it printed at Office Max. I have over 60 in this but to me, it is worth it. 

I'm BAAACCCCKKKK

I have been MIA over the past few months. Technology issues, family issues, childcare issues, a stressful few weeks trying to convince the jury coordinator that a teacher and a mother to a small child should not have to serve jury duty (sorry all the patriotic people out there-this was just not a good time), all the craziness of Common Core and a crazy, crazy classroom, and a one year old birthday to plan. Needless to say, I have been busy, busy, busy.

Here is one of the reasons that I have been MIA-so worth it. Now though, it is time for me to get back in the game...MAMA needs her mojo back.

Barefoot in the Kitchen: Buffalo Chicken Dip

Ingredients:
Approximately 2 ½ c of chicken, cooked and shredded *
One 8-oz. fat-free cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup Frank's RedHot Original Cayenne Pepper Sauce or any flavor you choose
1/2 cup shredded part-skim or fat free mozzarella cheese
1/4 cup fat-free ranch dressing
1/4 cup fat-free Greek yogurt

Directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Place cream cheese in a medium bowl and stir until smooth. Mix in Frank's RedHot, mozzarella cheese, ranch dressing, and yogurt. Stir in chicken until thoroughly combined. Spoon mixture evenly into a shallow baking dish.

Bake in the oven for 20 minutes, or until mixture is heated through.

It is super with celery sticks, or for those who don’t care about the extra calories-go for buttery crackers!

*Or if you are lazy- Two 9.75-oz. (or 10-oz.) cans 98% fat-free chunk white chicken breast in water, drained (which I hate)

A Life Lesson Learned via a Military Reunion

A few weekends ago I had the incredible fortune to be able to attend my husband's 10 year military reunion.  It was our first official outing without the baby-which was very difficult for this momma, but much needed in terms of hubby and wife reconnecting time. Those of you with newbies probably know exactly what I am talking about. All the new mommas out there know-it is hard to be your pre-baby self with the snap of a finger...sometimes it takes a push...and sometimes it takes a moment or two anyway from that precious babe to make you remember why you even had a child in the first place- because you loved each other and wanted a family. This was just a quick weekend getaway and believe me, on Sunday morning we were so ready to get back to our little man-especially since popa sent us a picture of him cheesing and showing off that cute wrinkled up nose and little teeth.

This was just supposed to be a reunion. Now, I don't know about you, but I attended my high school reunion, and it wasn't really that big of a deal. It was simple. So I assumed-dumb me, that this reunion would be that simple. It would just be a bunch of men and women getting together to reminisce, simple right? Or at least I thought it was that simple. What I learned this weekend was that it wasn't and isn't that simple- at least for military or x-military.

The truth as I observed it, showed a lot of divorced people or even people who were afraid of marriage. A few of them had children. Then, I heard my husband and some other of his military comrades refer to their "civilian" life, and it stopped me dead in my tracks. I have never thought of myself or even referred to myself as a civilian; however, that is just what these ex military men and women identify themselves as, at least those who did not make a career in the military or are now retired. My husband has told me before that it is a completely different life, and I never understood that. I never fully got it-until this weekend.

These people allowed me into their lives, even if it was just for a weekend. They accepted me, took me under their wing, even as I pushed their jäger -wait did I just say that-!!! Umm yea, I would be a liar to say that there were not drinks passed around (and FYI those shots passed to me- quietly appeared in front of someone else- "Oh, I thought I just did my shot?" "Nope, this one is yours" ;) ). Hey, at least I didn't feel like a dog doo bag that had been set on fire and stomped on- vivid I know. I knew we had to get up the next morning for something important....

So, on Saturday morning we went into Fort Stewart. They have this memorial they call Warriors Walk. It is a pathway set with trees and stones- one for each person who was stationed at Fort Stewart who was killed in the line of duty.  Unfortunately, my husband thought we were supposed to meet a half hour later than we actually were supposed to-that coupled with the fact that it was hard to drag him out of bed on account of the headache. It was almost eerie as we walked down the path. There was no one else there as we went down the path.

Someone once told me that one of the most sobering experiences was to be Arlington when there was no one else there. I have to agree. It was almost as if the birds didn't chirp, the wind didn't blow and as you walked down this pathway and read the names on the stones-it was like time stopped. The trees represented a life-a brother, a sister, a son, a daughter, a mother, a father. It caused you to think about the ones being left behind. It is very difficult to lose someone-to be the one left behind. My husband's unit had to experiencing being the ones left behind, as during this walk (when we finally caught up to the group) were reminiscing over 2 men that were a part of this particular group.

The hardest part for me was the fact that one of the soldiers killed in action had a wife, who was also part of this military group. My heart ached for her and her two very young sons as she had to interact with her friends, without her best friend-her husband who had been with her throughout it all. I found myself watching her and all though I didn't know her, I found myself wanting to go after her after she tried to talk to a guy at our table after dinner. I found myself wanting to go after her as she had to leave the room. She showed tremendous strength just being there-surrounded by her military comrades.  But how hard it must have been to talk about the "old" days, as I am sure not a single memory did not have him in it.

On the last night of our trip, they had put together a presentation. There was a slideshow and two Colonels who spoke. I was really touched by this guy and what he had to say. As someone who holds a doctorate in leadership, I was fascinated by how he chose to lead. He caused a lot of tears in the room as he tried to explain to his unit his choices, the role he and others played, and things he did to try to keep them safe. He liked himself to a father and all of the military sitting in the room were his children. He talked about his regrets and how he still loses sleep over the loss of any of his men or women. He knew exactly how many letters he had to write to mothers and fathers and wives.

I have to admit, I always thought of military men (especially those of high ranking status) were, for lack of a better word, pompous, sticking out their proud peacock chest...blah blah. I didn't get that from this guy. So, when he told them about his book Breaking Iraq I wanted my husband (like I had to twist his arm) to get it. He ended up running out of his books, so he got our address and mailed it to us.

I don't know if I have ever had an experience that caused me to reflect that deeply on the military before. I left worried about my husband and his possible resurfacing of PTSD due to all the memories being dredged back up. But more importantly I left we a better understanding of these people. Men and women who just wanted a better world, wanted to make a difference. Men and women who loved their country and was willing to pay the ultimate price for it.

It was on the grounds of Fort Stewart at the Warriors Walk and in the dinner hall that last night and seeing two grown men (one of which was my husband) sitting at our table having to wipe their eyes as their Colonel spoke about Iraq that I really saw for the first time

FREEDOM ISN'T FREE-EVEN IF THEY DON'T PAY WITH THEIR LIFE, THEY DO-