I wanted to be a stay at home mommy because maybe some part of me thought that I would get more accomplished if I had more hours in the day at home. That I would get more play time and snuggle time with this little handsome face. That is a joke. A big HAHAHAHA!
But somehow, the reality is quite the opposite. There is no time. Seriously, if you don't believe me, take time out to stay at home and see exactly how much you actually accomplish. If you accomplished lot, please email me and tell me all your secrets!!! I have tried schedules, nap time coffee drinking try to do everything at once binges, and wait til daddy's home to try to get something accomplished. Nothing worked the way that I needed it to in terms of getting the time I needed to accomplish all those things that needed to be accomplished, let alone do anything that I WANTED to do.
If I had been a stay at home mommy much longer, I am not sure if I would have gotten anything done. It seemed that my Saturday and Sunday with my son were less productive than the actual days that I had to go to work. What is up with that?
A person would assume the opposite would be true. One would assume that a stay at home mommy has nothing else to do but watch a kid, but guys it is SOOOOOOOO much more than that! I promise you, it is soooooo much more. So don't dis those stay at home mommies because it is much more than a mommy that stays in her pjs all day (although that can be fun too). I PROMISE YOU!!
However, in the barefoot world, or at least in my barefoot world, work (job related) time is quickly pushed aside. What is it pushed aside for? That is easy. It is for play time, mommy's craft time, or barefoot in the kitchen time.
However, even those moments (mommy's craft time or kitchen time) are quickly replaced with cuddles and snuggles.
And work (as in the stuff I need to do to make our household run halfway efficiently or heck even at all) is replaced with storybook time, or it is replaced with whatever else is left to do in the fraction of time that I seem to have to do it.
I will tell you what, those of you who are really listening. I have a new-found respect for the mommies out there, especially the stay at home ones.
You must have some kind of schedule that I have no clue about (but would love to hear about seeing as how different school breaks are fast approaching, and I will again be a stay at home mommy for a little while at least).
I have no clue as to what kind of schedule or how I am going to structure my day and my son's day. I don't want to do a complete upheaval of his routine as it is.
SO MOMMIES OF THE WORLD HELP ME TO HELP MY SON:: give me guidance.
I respect us mommies out there. So much more now, than I did even 8-9 or even 13 months ago. We are mommies.
We are mommies when we are hurt, or sick, or tired.
We do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the bottles, the diapers, the bedtimes and God knows what else which leaves us with virtually no time at the end of the day for us. Because we are mommies.
I feel like I "literally" have to claw my way to carve out some "me" time and usually that means something has to be put aside. Even if it is for 30 minutes or even til the next day-heaven forbid. But ladies, it is essential to take a moment or two or even three to make some time for yourself. It is essential for you as a mommy. It is essential for you as a wife. It is essential for you as a woman and a human being. If you dedicate your entire life to one thing and one thing only it is gonna make for a pretty terrible outcome. Again, it is all about BALANCE. It is also about knowing that even in that balance, it is OKAY to drop the ball.
Trust me, those dishes aren't going anywhere ladies, and they certainly aren't going to be fairy god-mothered and get up dancing and find themselves magically washed in the correct cabinet.
Those things only happen in children's movies-in real life-only we wished.
That is, unless you have a sweet hubby like mine who doesn't mind (occasionally) getting his hands dirty with the "womanly" duties.
(As long as he refuses to wear the ice blue colored gown or even the daisy looking Vera Bradley print apron in the pantry, we are a okay).
Anyway, but by the time you steal away a second of time for yourself, then it is midnight. So you pour yourself into bed, too tired to talk to your spouse, let alone watch a movie or be intimate.
It is funny, I can remember a time when my husband and I couldn't watch a whole entire movie together and it wasn't because we were falling asleep. Oh no. It was that we couldn't keep our hands off one another. Tickling, poking at, cuddling up, and whatever goes on behind closed bedroom doors.
But life, she changes.
A baby changes your life. I am not saying that to freak you out, but you need to know that.
Especially those teenagers of mine who think that everything is going to be a fairy tale because they are now pregnant. Oh you poor girls. You just don't understand do you?Never, ever will things be the same again. EVER.
A BABY
It changes your relationship. Unfortunately, too many relationships now are built on the wrong things and cannot withstand the strain that a new baby can bring. Because I can guarantee you, your life is going to change. It will be different, whether you are in your 30s like me or in your 20s or even your teens. I guarantee you that you have never experienced this kind of upheaval in your life before.
If there is someone out there whose relationship didn't change even in the least little bit, I would love to meet you because you are truly an anomaly in my opinion.
I thought my relationship was like the brick house. Like the brick house in the three little pigs...unmovable, unshakable and unable to be blown away by the storm or even pesky wolves in sheep's clothing.
But if all the residents of said brick house do not feel the same way,then the brick might as well have been straw or sticks. If one doubts, then your "house" is at risk. So said the last little pig.
Now, I am not a little pig but a human being and for the rest of us out there, when you have a child, your relationship will/might stall out. It will be like you are on hold listening to that god awful elevator music. The biggest problem will be that the elevator is stuck in between floors and you can't get off. And the music keeps playing and playing and playing til you want to pluck your eyeballs straight out your head and put 3 lbs of pressure on each of your ears to remove them.
It will remain that way-same ol' level, same ol' song, until you press a button-until you change it-until you make it a priority and get that elevator moving. Go up or down or even go Willy Wonka style and take it sideways and slantway-just get it moving again.
(I know it is crappy for a teacher to start a sentence with and and because but it is totally warranted in this particular situation)
AND it is a priority!
BECAUSE your children learn how to love from you. They look to you and what do you want them to see?
I want to teach and show my son how it is to love and be loved. I want him to see what love is and should be through us-my husband and I.
Research shows ( I know there I go spouting research again in the middle of a serious, although somewhat funny topic) that we emulate our parents.
If that is the case, I want my son to emulate what we were before sleepless nights, parenting conflicts, and time management or lack there of, claimed our lives.
Like I said, it is about priorities. Your priorities should be you, your children, and your spouse (not necessarily in that order and not necessarily the whole list). The other stuff, well it can wait. You can drop the ball. It will always be the OTHER stuff.
The less important stuff. I guarantee it will always be there;however, you, your family, your children, your spouse, well they may not.
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